Last week was a horrible week. It’s been rough on a very personal level – bad news was in the air and I’ve had to watch people I love get put through the wringer. My mind has been inundated with images of human devastation and suffering that has made my heart ache. It’s hard to feel so powerless to help others. When I start feeling overwhelmed by the misery, I remind myself that I am one person so I do what I can (Red Cross, Doctors Without Borders), tell the people that matter to me that I love them. And then I retreat into the kitchen. I cook for the ones I love and try to find reasons to laugh - usually by mocking the absurd and ridiculous which helps me cope. That’s what this post is about.
I love food holidays like National Pi Day. First of all, the act of making pie on Pi day seems more credible to me than most other food holidays. So many of them seem absurd. Like a group of politicians got together, got drunk, and started trying to figure out how to save the world with the kinds of plans that seem to make so much sense when you’re under the influence of alcohol – you know like the time that I was sure that if we just could give the world a Coke and teach them how to sing in perfect harmony, we could all live in peace together. Except I thought that rum and Cokes would be more appropriate because that’s what I was drinking and I sure as hell felt peaceful.
Anyway – I like to think that food holiday discussions go something like this:
Scene: Secret GOP Meeting where the margaritas & salsa are present in copious quantitites.
John Boehner: You know what will create more jobs? A tax cut for the manufacturers of sunless tanning products.
Mitch McConnell: Dude – You & Lindsey Lohan keep them in business just with your purchases alone. Joe! Quit hogging the margaritas!
Joe Biden: S’up.
Mitch McConnel: Joe – seriously, you are the only person I know who gets quieter when they drink. And why the hell is he here? This is a secret GOP meeting.
John: Everyone knows that Joe makes the best margaritas.
Mitch: Noted. Alright people – we need to figure out how to solve the budget crisis.
John: Screw the budget crisis. You know what I love? Marshmallow fluff.
Rand Paul: {passes out in bowl of salsa}
Mitch: Somebody needs to cut Rand off. Anyway – what we were talking about?
John: Making tomorrow National Marshmallow Fluff Day. That will stimulate the economy. Marshmallow fluff for all!
Mitch: Sounds good to me. March 16 is now National Marshmallow Fluff Day. Joe – pass the margaritas.
Joe: S’up.
Mitch: Dude – you’re freaking me out.
This type of scenario makes perfect sense. To me, at least. For example – March 10 is Blueberry Popover day. Obviously the Blueberry Popover lobby is a strong force to reckon with. And March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day. When the Pentaverate is finally exposed for the evil, power-hungry organization that it is, we’ll finally find out that CEO of Raisinets has been cloistered away with the Colonel (with his wee beady eyes) and that they plan to take over the world using a gum wrapper, fried chicken and candy that looks like rabbit turds.
I’m also a fan of Pi day because I am married to a man that can recite pi to 15 places without batting an eye. And he’s wearing his pi shirt today. Any day that makes nerds happy makes me happy.
Mainly though, I like Pi day because it gives me an excuse to make a pie. And pie is made of awesome sauce.
The buttermilk chess pie in Nancy McDermott’s book, Southern Pies: A Gracious Plenty of Pie Recipes, From Lemon Chess to Chocolate Pecan, caught my eye at first glance. I love southern pies, mainly because they take the mundane, everyday ingrediants that Southerners would have on hand and turn them into something elegant and delicious. It doesn’t hurt that I have ready access to Cruze Farm’s Buttermilk. Ten out of ten people agree that it comes from happy cows and angels.
I’ve been testing quite a few different pie crusts lately, looking for my holy grail recipe. This is going to be a long process so I can’t award any winners yet, but I’m very fond of the recipe for a butter/shortening crust that I tried from Nancy’s book. I’d love to be able to use leaf lard for my crusts but I haven’t found a local source. Until then, I’m going to stick with butter. I like this crust recipe because it’s predominantly made with butter but has just enough shortening to up the flakiness factor.
The verdict on this pie? I put a forkful in my mouth and sighed. This pie is so good that it could end scary partisan rhetoric and balance the budget. This pie is so good that it could create a world where Joe Biden could mix margaritas with John Boehner, Mitch McConnell and yes – even Rand Paul – all while crooning in a peaceful harmony.
This is a damn fine pie. Eat a piece, hug the ones you love and donate if you haven’t already.
Buttermilk Chess Pie
Yield: Makes two 9-inch pies
Ingredients
- Pastry for two 9-inch single crust pies (see below)
- 2 cups sugar
- 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 2/3 cup buttermilk
- 5 eggs, slightly beaten
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1/2 cup butter, melted
Cooking Directions
- Heat oven to 350 degrees. Line two 9-inch pie pans with crust and crimp the pie edges decoratively.
- In a large bowl, combine the sugar and flour, using a fork to stir them together. Add buttermilk, eggs and vanilla, stirring well. Add the butter and stir to blend everything together into an even filling. Pour the filling into the pie crusts, dividing evenly between the two.
- Place the pies on the bottom shelf of the oven. Bake until the edges puff up and the centers are fairly firm, wiggling only a little when you nudge the pans. This will take 40-45 minutes.
- Place pies on cooling rack and let cool to room temperature.
Butter/Shortening Piecrust
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 tablespoons sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 10 tablespoons unsalted butter, very cold & cut into 1/2 inch cubes
- 2 tablespoons vegetable shortening, very cold
- 3-5 tablespoons ice water
Cooking Directions
- Put flour, sugar and salt in a bowl and put them in the freezer for at least 10 minutes
- Put the flour mixture in the workbowl of a food processor, fitted with a metal blade. Add butter and shortening and pulse to cut the fat into smaller pieces. These pieces should be about the size of small peas (some can be smaller than that)
- With the machine running, slowly pour the water through the feed tube. The dough will begin to come together into a ball. When it does, turn the food processor off immediately. Do not let it form a complete ball. (This took 4 tablespoons of water for us)
- Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and gently shape it into two disks about 1.5 inches thick. Wrap each disk in plastic wrap and put them in the refrigerator for 30 minutes to an hour.
- Take the dough out of the refrigerator and let it sit for 10 minutes. On a floured surface, roll out one of the dough disks into a circle 1/4 inch thick and 10 inches wide. Transfer this (carefully!) to a 9-inch pie pan.
- Press the dough gently into the pan and trim the excess dough away, leaving about 1/2 inch of dough beyond the edges of the pie pan. Fold the edges up and over and crimp them decoratively.
- Refrigerate crust until needed - this can be up to 3 days.
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I needed this: an awesome sauce post with pie, humor, and a touch on the sad reality we are surrounded by right now. Thank you.
P.S. Special thank you for the image of Rand Paul passed out face first in a salsa bowl. HAHAHAHAHA!
Girl, you really have a way with words….what a smile I have plastered on my face now! This pie looks divine and I wish I was sharing a piece with you right now while sipping some of that rum & coke.
Is it good enough to make Boehner *stop* crying? Because then it’d be the pie of awesomeness beyond anything I’ve seen before.
Also, I now need to make this for my dad – we tried a buttermilk pie when I first moved to NC, and were both blown away. It’s just such a regional thing that we had never even heard of it!
Love your politico scenario. Love the all butter crust. LOVE Cruze Farm buttermilk. Love this recipe! I’ve never made chess pie, but today would have been the day, I guess! Sounds like you’re married to a nerd, just like I am! Nerds make the best husbands, don’t they??
1. From my limited experience with politics, this is pretty close to how things get done.
2. I’ve had this notion that one year I will eat the food of the day every single day of the year — like if it’s national popover day, I’ll eat a popover that day. And the next day, chocolate covered raisins.
3. We’re having pies instead of cake at our wedding reception. I’m pretty sure this is what I’m most excited about when I think about the wedding. Oh, and being married and all. But the pies …
This pie & this post were just what I needed tonight. Thanks for the much needed laugh.
My mother switched to leaf lard after years of shortening and oh my holy hell (the hell was just for you) suddenly I love pie crust. I used to just take it or leave it. I am shocked you cannot find it-we get it at the local farmer’s market (organic, pasture raised, blah blah blah) and if you go w me to blogher I’ll bring you some.
I want someone to make me this pie. I am never certain how I will feel about it bc on the one hand I love buttermilk and on the other hand I dislike custard so I wish someone would make me one so I can find out.
I don’t even know what chess pie is, but you’ve made me laugh, educated me and the rum and Coke sounds like a great idea. So far, I’m enjoying Pi day. Thanks!
This post made me laugh so hard, especially since you put a Pentaverate reference in it. Also – made this pie yesterday. It was so rich and amazing!
This is my first time posting but I’ve been reading your blog for a long time. I have never had the kind of luck at any other blog as I’ve had at your site. Every single recipe I’ve tried has been wonderful and I enjoy reading your blog so much.
I’ve never had a chess pie before? Is it like a pie with sweet custard inside? Looks pretty tasty!
Love So I married An Axe Murderer. That movie is hilarious!
Jan – it’s wonderful. I think I’d eat this for a last meal. So, so, so good. And I’m glad you appreciate the awesomeness that is So I Married An Axe Murderer!
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I can’t stop laughing over this post. And the pie sounds delicious.
Thanks Bob! It was fun writing it!
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